Puns
What are puns?
What are puns?
Puns - 3
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road
22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awarenes
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road
22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awarenes
Punny Jokes:
CLEVER WORDS FOR CLEVER PEOPLE
1. ARBITRAITOR
A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.
2. BERNADETTE
The act of torching a mortgage.
3. BURGLARIZE
What a crook sees through.
4. AVOIDABLE
What a bullfighter tries to do.
5. COUNTERFEITER
Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
6. LEFT BANK
What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
7. HEROES
What a man in a boat does.
8. PARASITES
What you see from the Eiffel Tower.
9. PARADOX
Two physicians.
10. PHARMACIST
A helper on a farm.
11. RELIEF
What trees do in the spring.
12. RUBBERNECK
What you do to relax your wife.
13. SELFISH
What the owner of a seafood store does.
14. SUDAFED
Brought litigation against a government official.
CLEVER WORDS FOR CLEVER PEOPLE
1. ARBITRAITOR
A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.
2. BERNADETTE
The act of torching a mortgage.
3. BURGLARIZE
What a crook sees through.
4. AVOIDABLE
What a bullfighter tries to do.
5. COUNTERFEITER
Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
6. LEFT BANK
What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
7. HEROES
What a man in a boat does.
8. PARASITES
What you see from the Eiffel Tower.
9. PARADOX
Two physicians.
10. PHARMACIST
A helper on a farm.
11. RELIEF
What trees do in the spring.
12. RUBBERNECK
What you do to relax your wife.
13. SELFISH
What the owner of a seafood store does.
14. SUDAFED
Brought litigation against a government official.
Some Korny Puns --
1. Dad, are we
pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call
a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name
in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay
in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll
end up paying the price.
6. Just so
everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks
into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as
a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers
from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get
his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop
to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band
‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook,
and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and
not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your
secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t
want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a
Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but
for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study
the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was
staggering.
20. I’m trying to organize a hide and
seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to
chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky
road.
22. What do you say to comfort a friend
who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked
the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B,
back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the
patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture
self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about
the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin
awareness.
1. Dad, are we
pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call
a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name
in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay
in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll
end up paying the price.
6. Just so
everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks
into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as
a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers
from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get
his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop
to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band
‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook,
and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and
not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your
secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t
want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a
Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but
for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study
the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was
staggering.
20. I’m trying to organize a hide and
seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to
chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky
road.
22. What do you say to comfort a friend
who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked
the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B,
back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the
patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture
self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about
the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin
awareness.
